Problems

I already e-mailed someone about this, but it's driving me CRAZY!
I'd forgotten that once I start eating, I literally cannot stop. Can. Not. Stop. It's embarrassing! And fattening!

Fortunately, I haven't gained any weight from this...yet...but it's only a matter of time, you know? I've *GOT* to cut this off, and I just feel so helpless against it.

And so, I HAVE to eat this egregiously large dinner three days a week at this program, right? And THAT pisses me off, too--not just because of the portions, but because of the timing. My ritual is to go home, check the mail, and eat (and then maybe--MAYBE--puke.) This means that with this forced meal, I am now eating TWICE in one evening, and I do not have the power to fight it. I'm weak.

And on TOP of that, my daytime restriction has gone out the window. Literally. Gone. Buh bye! So I'm over eating. All. Day. Long. I need HELP to stop this viscious, ugly cycle of fatness. Please?? Help me??

And THEN, someone eked the secret that I'm in an ED program out of me. I am royally pissed off and annoyed about that. Now, said person thinks that I'm taking care of myself, when CLEARLY I'm not, and may never actually do so beyond surface concerns. It makes me want to cry, the whole situation. :(

I just need input. Advice. Guidance and help. I want to get back on the path to Thin. Not this overindulgant, puke-filled path that I'm on now. I want to starve myself again, and I want to be good at it, for once...