Nerves

I'm going into the OP program this evening--SO NERVOUS. WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING??? I don't need this! I'm not bad enough! I'm hardly even at the brink of qualifying for help. Plus? I am a fat ass. I won't fit in.

Things I Already Find Humiliating:
*Supervised dinners with food requirements
*The fact that they weigh my fat ass--I am not even CLOSE to underweight: there is NO NEED for that!
*The fact that once they weigh my fat ass, they won't even let me know the fat numbers.

I'm already angry, and the program hasn't even started. And I'm nervous. And I can't talk about it with any one because the only people who know are my aunt in another state, my fake mother in another state, and my therapist. GAH!