Monday, March 21, 2011

Alone in the misery...

Day starts out pretty well--not the best, because your gf gives you two cookies for breakfast instead of your usual breakfast drink, but you're strong. You can get over it.

You go strong, straight through lunchtime, determined to be good today, to be strong, to power through cravings and "needs"...but then you get shaky, uncertain, and you have to go to work and you can't go to work like that...so what to eat?

Well, there's that Dunkin Donuts right around the corner, and you've been craving a sandwich from them for a while...break down, eat it, feel fat, but know that it's only 460 calories and you still have room in today's allowance. Come up with a plan for the rest of the day (ramen for "dinner," yogurt and maybe a banana with your meds)

Get home, and all hell breaks loose. Make dinner for everyone. Break down and decide to eat some, only a little--MISTAKE! Now you've got the taste on your lips.

Eat some more. Eat that banana you've been wanting to try and break the craving for more food. Wrong. Keep going. Vegetables! Vegetables don't count! Eat those. Eatthe tiny pie in the fridge. Eat a roll. Eat some cereal. And then it's a free-for-all on the Cheetos.

Woah. What to do? GOTTA PUKE!!!

Chug some water. Go up to the bathroom, put the seat up...only water comes up. Orange water. Keep trying. Get some Cheeto up, but not enough. KEEP TRYING. Getting more and more desperate, but nothing will come up. Well, that's it. Now you've not only failed at not eating, you've also failed at PURGING. FAILURE.

At the end of the day, all you have is yourself, and the misery you wreaked upon yourself. Fat, miserable, alone. Failure.

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