What Do I Seek?

AKA Why am I doing this?
This is a serious question, because without goals, you won't get anywhere.
Most people do this out of a desire to be thin. I mean, that's there, too, but it's definitely not my driving goal. Why do I do this?
I do this because I seek CONTROL. In a world filled with chaos and pain, you've GOT to have control over something.
I do this because I seek PURITY.  There is no better feeling than the empty you get when you don't eat: the clean feeling you can't get anywhere else.
II do this because I seek PAIN.  I deserve it. Don't ask ME why, I don't know. But I do know that I deserve every inch of pain that I get.
But I fear that these goals aren't strong enough. Maybe I should start seeking THIN as well...