Weight gain

I'm truly frustrated. I talked with my prescriber yesterday about the possibility of it being related to my relatively new/any of my meds. We now have a battle plan, for which I am grateful—it's a relief. She says that if the gain is related to meds, she's seen fast results in losing it again after the meds are stopped. But the Plan isn't as fast as I'd like. I'm trying to avoid restricting—I'm almost (*almost*) convinced that it's shot my metabolism—but Evil Brain is displeased with said avoidance. She wants to prescribe me something for sleep that also decreases appetite (not posting here lest people use it for evil...), and it took ALL of Healthy Brain to tell her that it might not be a good idea *right now* cuz my brain's in such a dangerous place. Regretting that now...

Dear sweet God in heaven, let this be related to the meds, and let me lose at least 20lbs when I stop them...

Success! Annnnnnddddd figuring out how to create more success...

Well, the good news is that the piggishness seems to be trailing off--only MARGINAL overeating today, hopefully followed by proper starvation tomorrow.

While I was at my relatives' for Easter, my aunt gave me a dress to try on--I looked at the size and was uber skeptical of it because it was a 6, and I barely just got down to an 8, right? Well, I try it on and.....(drum roll, please!)...IT FIT! I CAN FIT INTO A 6!!!! I know, I know--most of you are probably praying that you DIE the day you're large enough to fit into a 6, but for me??? This is HUGE progress! HUGE! I'm so excited!

But that and my grandmother's comments about how skinny I'm getting are NOT making up for the fact that I've gained a gajillion pounds over the past week. Time to crack down and get back to business. Back to business indeed...

From One City to Another

I went from one city to another for Easter. Let me tell you, it is nice to escape (even if the weather here is crappier than at home.)

Ever since I went to the hospital the second time, my family's been edgy, worried, and suspicious--I feel like I can't live my life, you know? So it's nice to get away from the worried family to spend time with the less-worried family.

The family at home is starting to catch on to my wayward eating habits, too. I try to avoid being home at meal times as much as possible, but even then, they notice that you're getting skinnier (and never with joy! Always the tone of concern!! What's up with that??? I mean, come ON! I was practically OBESE before, and now I'm within a healthy range. Chill out, dudes!)

Which makes me wonder if I should buy new clothes that fit--is it worth it? I mean, am I going to just gain all the weight I just lost back?? (I hope I never, ever, ever, EVER weigh as much as I did again!) But the fact is, most my my clothes just don't fit right any more...time to replace them? Who knows.

OK, and now I really SHOULD go do some homework and stop obsessing over food and weight. Happy holidays to all!