Monday, November 29, 2010

Time to get things under control

I am the worst ED person ever.  I...completely gave up for the past week or two, and it's time to get back on track.

How do I know that? Aside from well...the constant eating I've been doing for the past two weeks, you know...Right.

I know that because I bought a jacket.  Mind you, I bought it online, so I didn't get to try it on. Which shouldn't have been a problem, but it is.  I got it in medium, thinking a) that it will be my winter salvation and b) that a medium should be FINE, because EVERYTHING ELSE THAT I OWN IS A MEDIUM BECAUSE I AM A FAT ASS WHO CAN'T CONTROL HER EATING. Right?

WRONG.  It's too small.  This has NEVER HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE. A MEDIUM...has NEVER BEEN TOO SMALL FOR ME BEFORE.

What. The hell.

So. Starting tomorrow, I'm back on the anti-fatty diet. I hope. Wish me strength, because my lazy ass loves eating and keeping it in farrrrrr too much for my own good. I have a WHOLE WINTER to lose this fatty mcfatterton fatass that I own.

No excuses. Not the new girlfriend, not the relative well-adjustedness of my life. Not the fact that I no longer feel the NEED to hurt myself, which is what started this whole thing. I will not eat because I am a fat ass and don't deserve to eat.

It will help that my family has just gone vegan until Christmas.  I can pretend to play their game.

Oy vey. What an affair...

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