2%

I had 2% milk today after months of skim only--it was like putting *cream* in my cereal! Gross! I can't believe that's all I would drink for years!

What is WRONG with me? I'm on an eating spree...again. I think I need to hearken back to my days in the hospital, where I wouldn't eat all day but for the food that people brought me during visitor hours. THAT'S when I had strength. THAT'S when I lost the most weight. I need to go back to that. I'm being weak, having "breakfast" and lunch and dinner, no matter how tiny they are. I need to fast all day, have a small amount of food in the evening, and not eat anything else after that. I'm too comfortable right now. I'm also too fat. One needs to shake up one's world from time to time: change things up, get out of one's comfort zone. This is my verdict: starting tomorrow, it's back to starvation during the day. The only problem is what to eat at night. It was nice in the hospital, because I was limited to what people brought in. In the real world, I get to make my own decisions. This is problematic...one "meal" only. 600 cal or less. This is all I will eat.

Ultimate Fatty

Almost my worst fears were realized over Easter--I say "almost" because only time will tell if I've completely lost all ability to restrict...

I ate way, way, WAY too much food, and drank too many calories, and want to keep going, even though I feel like a fatty, stuffed sausage, full individual who's probably gained TEN POUNDS--wahhhhh!

I'm SO freaked out! Someone help me to get back on track! Where has my motivation gone??

It seems to me that I have two options for getting back on track. I can choose an arbitrary calorie limit for the day/week, and go for that, or I could choose an arbitrary calorie limit and go for a liquid diet for a few days (problem: not very satisfactory...but then...that's the idea, right??)

I dunno. I need advice!

I hate to post in the morning...

...Because everything can go wrong later in the day, but so far TODAY? Things have been ok. I'm sticking to the Plan.

The only thing I'm worried about is that classes start again today, which means I'll be on campus this evening, which means my friend might wanna catch dinner, which means one of two things: 1) she'll either notice how little I'm eating or 2) I'll completely pig out in the face of MASSIVE QUANTITIES OF FOOD available. *sigh* I wish I could control myself better in the face of the enemy...