Fat Day

Today is one of 'em. No matter what, all I can see is my *fat*--It's EVERYWHERE! And there's no place to freak out, because no one else gets it, so you guys get the brunt of it (sorry!)

I cried after lunch today. It's just SUCH a traumatizing experience, and I can't even explain why! There's just so much FOOD! Snacks, I can handle, but meals? No es bueno. And I can't eat it all, so I have to deal with everyone staring, and THEN I have to deal with that damn Ensure (I'm SO SICK of them, and it's only my third day of drinking them!) All the calories! All that FOOD, just sitting in my belly! And all the food I wasted...*sigh* The guilt is endless, and I can't deal with it.

And I'm fat. Fat, fat, fat, FAT....