Today, I met with my new psych/prescriber person. She noted the ED stuff on my sheet, and said that we don't have to talk about it yet, but it's something that she WILL help me through. I...don't know how I feel about that. I feel...oddly comforted, knowing someone's out there who cares about it, but at the same time, I don't WANT to work through this until I'm bloody well THIN.
I haven't been good today. I feel like I should be done with the "good" evaluation aspect of it all, and just rejoice in it when it happens. But if I don't note when I'm good, how am I ever going to positively reinforce that behaviour?
Also, I'm hungry. I want to eat, and eat, and eat, and eat. But I won't. My favorite pair of jeans has worn through at the thigh, a tribute to how FAT I am, and that should be motivation enough...
So yeah. Those are my thoughts for the moment.
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