Tuesday, February 15, 2011

145

I don't think this is what she meant to happen, but my therapist had a little bet-type thing going with me that if I checked with health services (or my doctor, whatever) about healthy weight ranges, my goal weight wouldn't be in it....but it's only 15 lbs below the topmost point of the range at 130.  So, I've written 145 on my hand and it is staying there until I reach it (145 being the "healthy" zone.)  I am doing a liquid day tomorrow, and then maybe limited food the day after, and then another liquid day, and I am going to continue until I get to 145 or I die. Whichever comes first. (Or, if recent experience is any indicator, until I completely lose my will power and go back to binging without purging, fatty mcfatterton that I am...)  I'm hoping that by avoiding food only one day at a time, then it'll all be more manageable. I can  handle this. I can get to 145, and I can do it FAST. Dammit.

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