I'm in another state, visiting my grandparents for the holidays, right? The land where they wine and dine you for a week. My grandfather, who's usually so good about asking about my weight told me to forget about it this week and to enjoy myself (GASP!) but how'm I supposed to enjoy myself when I feel like a fat pig all the time? I can't eat a bite of food without feeling that way. Because I AM a fat pig right now.
I haven't restricted properly, purged, or cut in about a month and a half now (since I got the new GF I haven't been as self-destructive as I've been in the past...) and that's making me feel even worse about not taking care of this "fatty" business--I deserve pain if I can't stop myself from eating, but that's not the way it's been going...
I dunno, man. I don't know how I'm going to come out of this week. December really IS a terrible month for restricting...
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